15 minutes ago I was ready to write a deep post reflecting on my life in the past four months. Then my roommate came home. We were having a chat about our days, when she said "I think you're crazier than I am." (in reference to my recently discovered passion for Broadway and the fact that I watch youtube videos in my free time) Now, she's said this MULTIPLE times before, and I know she's joking. But just recently we had a discussion about it, b/c it kinda annoys me when she says it. Not much, but some, if only b/c sometimes I cant tell if she's being serious or not. Saying it so often would imply that she might think it's actually true. So we had discussed it, and I just assumed that she wouldnt say anything like that again. But she did. And I was gonna let it go, no big deal. I'm not the kind of person to get pissed about every little thing. So I just explained that I dont specifically put aside time to watch youtube videos or go out searching for them. I just stumble across them in my free time. Just b/c I have more free time than her doesnt mean I'm crazy. So she asked me if I was mad, which I wasnt really, but I said with a laugh that I was kinda annoyed if only b/c we'd gone over this before and I'd told her that it was kind of annoying then. At which point she got up suddenly and started walking out of the room, simply saying that she was going to bed, and responding with an abrupt "no" when I asked if she was mad.
She does this all the time. I cant handle it. She's constantly concerned that I'm mad about something, to the point of freaking out, but she really does get mad about everything, but never admits it. She cant ever be honest with me, yet she says I'm her best friend and that she's so glad I'm in her life and bladdy bladdy blah. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. That's just the kind of person I am. I'm not going to tell you I'm fine with something if I'm not. I may be sarcastic, but I dont lie about being mad, or happy, or sad. Not to my real friends anyways. So I definitely dont lie to my roommate. So it really pisses me off when she gets mad about nothing, and then tells me she's fine. How the hell am I supposed to deal with that? I cant read her mind; I cant force her to tell me the truth. Confronting her about it does nothing; I've confronted her more times than I can count in the past four months and it's made no different. There's no winning.
So I just let it go. And forget about it. Until the next time it happens. And one day, I'll explode, and have one less (seemingly semi-fake) friend in the world.
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